My daughter came home excitedly sharing her scorecard. I missed the 5 straight A’s and got stuck to the one A minus. I was being a parent, thinking ahead of how these scores might impact her College admission. A coach would have remained present in the moment and would have celebrated the A’s. There are parents and there are parents – but you can expect the same standard behaviour from an ICF-Certified Coach. ICF “A coach acknowledges the client’s unique talents and the coach shows support for the client.”
I want the best for my child and believe that online classes can only be effective when her camera is on. That is my belief. When I insist she switch on her camera in class, I am being a Parent – a nosy one at that. I am trying to impose my belief on my child, who is not comfortable switching on her camera. ICF “The Coach acknowledges and supports the client’s beliefs.” Imagine being with someone non-judgemental, does not impose his / her worldview and celebrates all your achievements big or small. This is how a Coach holds the space for the client as they creatively achieve what they want to. The ICF Core Competencies instilled in the Coach are what empower the Coaches in our profession.
I love to hear my daughter talk and can’t wait to learn how her day went, what her plans are, what she might need or want. Yet at times, I realize I’ve missed something and get stuck when she asks me again. I love her to distraction, but sometimes I allow myself to get distracted. As people say, ‘A Coach listens like no one else.’ The Coach is fully present for their client. The profession mandates that the Coach engages in self-development and practices being present with the client. When the Coach is with the client – it is always the Client’s agenda. What the client wishes to discuss, how much, how less. The Coach listens and learns about the client from the conversation and then offers observations or asks meaningful questions as they arise in the moment. It is not passive listening but listening and asking or sharing an observation to evoke awareness.
As Coaches we believe in the innate resourcefulness of our clients and our job is to hold the space for our clients as they explore and evolve in the direction they want.
A Coach is not a Parent and let us remember both Coaches and Parents are very critical for this World. A parent can aspire to be a Coach but a Coach is not a Parent.
Disclaimer: All credit for definitions and direction goes to the ICF Code of Ethics and ICF Core Competencies